Are you aware washing your hands could be hazardous? Of course, not washing your hands could also be hazardous. However that’s another story for another day. On this day I need to warn you of the danger lurking at your sink.
Beware! This innocent looking bottle of hand soap can inflict pain.
Do you use liquid soap in a pump? If the answer is yes, take heed of my warning. I had to learn the hard, may I say painful way. Here is my sad tale . . .
I approached the sink nonchalantly, unaware of the danger ahead. I reached for the pump to plop a squirt in my hand. I applied even pressure to the top but no soap was dispensed. I pressed it slightly harder. There was a moment of resistance before the dam gave way and soap shot out in a variety of angles!
In a fraction of a second I was covered in clear soap goo. This goo smeared across my fuzzy fleece shirt, narrowly missed my mouth (fortunately it was closed), but landed just above my lip, and in my hair. However, that was not the worst! A miniscule speck shot into my right eye. Oh the burn!
I was aghast looking at my reflection in the mirror. Immediately I needed to attend to my eye. I rinsed and rinsed, but still it burned. I continued to furiously blink as I tended to the other landing places of the soap.
Once I was moderately cleaned up, I examined the soap bottle carefully. I had never been attacked by my soap before, so I wondered what had prompted this full frontal assault. Wedged in the opening of the pump was a lump of congealed soap. Apparently it had built up over time and I had not noticed this collection of semi-dried soap getting ready to attack the next user. I suppose I should be grateful that this did not occur when I was dressed to go some place special, thereby requiring a wardrobe change.
The rest of the day, my eye was tender. It was a constant reminder to look before pumping. I only hope this story serves as a warning to you, dear reader. Check the end of the pump and you will be spared. 🙂
elsie tries writing 
I’m laughing and feeling sorry for your burn. I’m sure the eye has healed but I bet you’re going to be a cautious pumper for a while. Thanks for the cautionary tale of woe.
You crack me up!! I’ve had that happen with lotion, but not nearly to the extreme that you write about. You poor thing!!
Elsie, you have such a great way to tell a story about something that I would never think about – other than getting mad and tossing it in the trash. I shall approach my sink and soap more cautiously from this point on. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love your word choice. It’s a fun slice, even though it wasn’t for you at the time. Reminds me of a favorite saying, disaster + time = humor.
This happens to me all the time with hand lotion. You’d think I would learn, but the lotion always ends up all over my desk! NCTE was wonderful, and the fact that it was within driving distance definitely helped. Maybe next year!
It is amazing that the liquid soap bottles do not come with a warning (at least I have yet to see one). Perhaps you could make some travelling money and write the warning label to attach to soap bottles with pumps. Safety first, right.
I am thankful you are looking out for us! Happy Thanksgiving to delightful, generous you! Knowing you is a blessing.
Ouch! I hope your eye is recovering. On the bright side, I loved the humor it this piece–and I am now fully warned of the dangers of soap bottles.
Yikes! I shall approach hand soap in bottle like this with much suspicion from now on, Elsie. Thanks for the warning…and here’s good Thanksgiving wishes coming your way from me.
Ugh! NO!!!!!!! I will never wash my hands again, remembering your torment. How are you now?
Well, it seems clear to me that you need a new cleaning/lady/man! A REALLY good cleaner would have taken notice of such a glaring hazard to health and safety!! Check on Craigs List and/or have a good talk to the household help you presently use. They are never too old to learn.
Thanks for the warning…
Oh, this has totally happened to me too! Not to this degree, but pretty close.
Hope your eye feels better and that this never happens again!
Elsie,
Thank you for braving the danger of the pump and sparing us from a full frontal assault.
I hope your eye feels better, And, I did think this was funny even though you were wounded in the making of the story.
xo
Pamela
Elsie, thanks for the warning. I have also been attacked by my liquid soap dispenser, bu not to the extent you have. Loved the piece,
What a word choice! Sorry for the eye.
Oh, Elsie. I love how you wrote this. It made me giggle as I read “I approached the sink nonchalantly, unaware of the danger ahead.” What a great line to create suspense.
Glad your eye is OK:)
Ha! I love the way you crafted this story. The humor and the empathy all rolled into one. I have this issue with toothpaste as my husband never puts the cap back on!
Oh Elsie…I was torn between my eyes, watering in support for you, and my giggles, bubbling up as I imagined the soap plotting it’s upcoming attack. So sorry you got some in your eye, but it made for an amusing story anyway. Hope your eye is better! Happy Thanksgiving and I’ll keep my eye on my soap!
Wow-it’s never happened so far, but thanks for the warning, Elsie, I hope your eye is back to excellent soon! Happy Thanksgiving!
I’ve been having some problems with my liquid soap in a pump as well! I can totally relate. I hope your eye is feeling better now! 😉
I have this same experience with the lotion bottle but never with the soap pump. I love your stories….they make me smile!
Oh, Elsie, I hope your eye feels better.
Thanks for the warning Elsie! I have been sprayed by the pump before so I tend to “cup” my hand over the opening to avoid the “attack” . . . Glad your eye is ok 😉