Walking into Walmart for my weekly grocery shopping finds me looking at my list of items I want to price match, thinking about what I will fix for dinner this week, checking to make sure I have my bags for my groceries, and reminding myself of what coupons I have to use today. All this multi-tasking preoccupies my mind as I am pushing my cart through the double doors. The friendly greeter is there with a welcoming smile. I smile back while I am organizing my “stuff” in the cart.
A male voice behind me says, “So this is where all the good looking women hang out.”
I look left, then right, to see who he is talking about. There is no one around. Inwardly I roll my eyes and mentally say “Really?” I make the mistake of looking back at the speaker.
He continues on, “My mother always said I should go to the laundry mat to find a good woman. I think she was wrong. Walmart is the place. There sure are a lot of good looking women here.”
I shake my head as if to say “You’ve got to be kidding. I’m not buying your line.” I continue to push my cart in a different direction.
He also continues on his way but his final line makes me laugh, “You just missed the chance to be my next ex-wife.”
Thanks for the offer, buddy, but I am perfectly happy with my choice of a spouse. Besides I didn’t find him at a laundry mat or Walmart.
elsie tries writing 
Great story Elsie. Great ending.
Ha!
You are funny and your humor and voice are alive. Thanks for the laugh today.
Ruth
HAHAHA, his next ex-wife! Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh today, Elsie! 🙂
Okay, so I am so glad I have met you in person because that made this all the more funny. I could see this unravel and your eyes rolling as he continued his pursuit. His last line…seriously, hilarious. Sorry you had to have an experience with such a creeper though, ugh.
That is too funny! I could picture this whole story and it just makes me laugh!
Hey, he has taste…and a sense of humor. Good thing that you kept your sense of humor, too!
Terje hit the nail on the head…You sure know how to tell a good story! Could picture the eye roll, imagine the exact tone of that “Really?” and just have to wonder how he possibly could have continued on after the head shake…
At least it makes a funny story, but my skin would have crawled for sure if I had been there.
Too funny! I wonder what makes people speak words that makes others skin crawl? Well, it definitely makes writing blogs more interesting!
ELSIE,
IF NOTHING ELSE YOU GOT TO LOVE THE HUBRIS. NICE TO BE FLIRTED WITH NOW AND THEN, ISN’T IT?
BERNADETTE
Thanks for the laugh!! Great slice 🙂
Oh wow! That guy’s lines totally made my skin crawl.
This is hilarious! I could picture you rolling your eyes, feel you groan, and I encouraged you to continue to walk away! My sister just had a similar experience…also at Walmart! “Excuse me miss, I know this isn’t a bar, but we have been in line long enough I would love to buy you a drink.” Um, I don’t think so, but thanks for the laugh!
You know how to tell a good story.
Great chuckle to start my day! I guess he’s got to try out his pick up lines somewhere, so what better place than Wal-mart! I”m sure as he went on his way, he was trying to figure out how to improve his line.
OMG Elsie . . . I am sitting here laughing because it amazes me everyday the “stupid” things people say! The sad thing is some woman will find that appealing . . .
I guess you were able to get all of the things on your list, and something extra not on your list. Great story. It put a smile on my list and I can’t wait to share this with my husband!
Gotta give the guy an “A” for trying. Your post brought a smile to my face when I read it. Thanks for sharing.
Can’t believe he’s doing this as a greeter–he must have been really impressed, Elsie! We don’t have greeters here anymore–maybe they all got fired for trying to pick their next wife! What better way to start the day–an Elsie post! Thanks for humor.at its best.
Oh, Elsie, what an adventure, and at Wal-Mart! Like Mary Helen, you’ve started my day with a big laugh, and I too think you’re good-looking, but “not” looking… What was he thinking… You led us on so well. At first I thought it was an old friend teasing! Thanks!
Elsie, this post is the best to begin my day! I just arrived at school, opened my computer, and your post came through my email. Reading it, I am laughing. Not that you aren’t a great looking lady, but I could imagine you rolling your eyes and shaking your head. Thanks for the laugh this morning. I’m laughing so hard my neighboring teacher is wondering what/s up. I’m passing this post on to bring a smile to someone else’s day. Your last two sentences are the best! I’ll make sure to tell Elizabeth this advice. LOL.